Category Archives: featured

Love them forever

21-Grams-JP-3-1024x683“’till death do you apart’… well, not necessarily true… The artist Mark Sturkenboom already had a vibrator on the market that contains the ashes of a departed loved one. He just came out with a follow up called ‘Poetic Justice’. The package contains a vibrator with the ashes of a loved one, a scent to bring back memories to the intimate times, a place to store the wedding ring, the music to create a romantic atmosphere.

For those for whom this isn’t bizarre enough: “For those who saw the first edition as a taboo, or for those who considers getting even closer with her love, Poetic Justice gives one an alternative. This edition also contains a poisoned cigarette that offers the possibility to be eternally reunited with your sweetheart again“. A vibrator with the ashes of your departed loved one and a suicide cigarette… right…

For those interested, you can check Mark’s website. Now you know!

pornography

Erastes_eromenos_Staatliche_Antikensammlungen_1468We all don’t mind looking at sexy images. Whether it’ll be solo girls, guys or couples in action, men and women both seem to enjoy looking at erotic material. So do you, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this! Bot how long have people been watching pornographic material?

A little investigating quickly leads to the conclusion that nearly every culture and civilization somehow depicted their porn in paintings, sculptures, drawings or photographs. Though the current definition of ‘pornography’ is from the 1860’s. The first official definition of pornography is ‘a description of prostitutes or of prostitution, as a matter of public hygiene.’.

caveman vulva picThe earliest images that could be (or may be) considered porn are found in a cave in England. There were symbols found there that scientists believe to by stylized versions of female genitalia. They drawings are believed to be more than 12,000 years old. The oldest caveman action picture found was 7,200 years old and depicts a man being over a female so it appears they’re having intercourse.

Now you know!

War on Masturbation

vaseline-kleenexUtah is heading for a new law… to limit sales of Kleenex and Vaseline, in order to reduce masturbation. As if there was no masturbation possible without Kleenex and Vaseline!

“If a young man buys a lot of these items he has fallen pray to the seduction of masturbation”. And since masturbation is believed to a sin in some religions sales of large amounts of these items have to be stopped! That vaseline can be used to heal a dry skin and Kleenex is used heavily during girls’ film nights and common colds is ignored… It’s not a law yet though, but it’s being proposed.

We always wondered that why any God that would see masturbation as a sin would make your arms exactly the length that if you lay down on your back with nothing to do your hands end up in your crotch… wouldn’t it make much more sense to put any genitals on that hard to reach place between your shoulder blades instead of the most convenient place to rest your hands when you’re lying down? Ah well…

Cold on the outside

natural-snow-ballsEver wondered why testicles are dangling in a nutsack? It would make much more sense to pack such a delicate thing (or rather: things) on the inside of a body, where it’s protected by muscle tissue and such. But no, the very tender part of a male’s body is positioned outside his body, unprotected from the elements, and in a highly vulnerable place. Why? ’cause it’s colder there!

Sperm develops best several degrees below body temperature. And it stays alive a lot longer once activated at lower temperatures. And that’s why they’re excluded from the body and stored on the outside. Now you know!

 

remember video tapes?

Remember 1975? It was an era long before DVD’s and Blu-ray-disks when video tape recorders made their entrance into many people’s homes. Back then there was a wide variety of recorders, Sony’s Betamax, Philips’ Video 2000 and JVC’s VHS. The worst of these 3 were without a doubt VHS. Yet everybody ended up with a VHS recorder in their home… it became by far the most popular option. Why? Porn!

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Sony and Philips both refused to let pornographers put adult material on their tapes. JVC didn’t care. So in the rental shows (yes, people used to go out to a shop to rent videos, which you had to turn back in after a week or so, and you got a fine if you forgot to rewind the tape!) the only porn related material was only available on VHS.

Philips ‘learned’ from this. When they came out with their CD-i, which was like a predecessor of today’s DVD and Blu-ray, back in 1991, the first contract they signed was with Playboy. A few years later the internet became widely available… with one little site called ‘The Hun’s Yellow Pages’ which started a whole new era… now you know!

Biggest Gangbang

gangbang (ˈɡæŋˌbæŋ)- n. Vulgar Slang

  1. Sexual intercourse forced upon one person by several others in rapid succession
  2. Sexual intercourse involving several people who select and change partners

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So, now we know what the definition of the noun ‘gangbang’ means, what was the biggest gangbang ever? There is a movie out called The world’s biggest gang bang which would indicate it’s the biggest. It stars porn actor Ron Jeremy as the host and part II was filmed (1996) where Jasmin St. Claire took on 300 men. In 1999 the 4 hour movie The Houston 620 was filmed. Although it’s not really clear how many people have intercourse with Houston it’s said that there’s a total of 620 ejaculations in that gang bang. There were 500 men when the movie was shot.

And the world’s smallest gangbang? That must have been the movie the World’s smallest gangbang, a 45 minute movie with only little people in the cast. Now you know!

good cause

156e7b777b6a3c8.50723790Did you know there’s an organisation out there that has sex in public in order to put focus on saving the environment? We believe any excuse for good sex is a good excuse, these people take it one step further and actually came up with a good cause. Why not? They started in 2004 and actually built up quite a fan base. Their donations helped support a lot of projects. You can find them at fuckforforest.com!

I guess they really give a fuck!

weird

Ok, this is weird, even for us! We heard people can feel like they’re on fire, or they describe themselves as hot, but setting fire to your own wedding tackle for sexual stimulation is – at least – out of the ordinary!

We’ll be featuring more videos from jokes.xxx, it’s a little side project we’re doing, check it out of a good adult laugh!

We checked online to see if there’s a scientific term for masturbating with fire, but we couldn’t find anything. Let’s just call it pyrobation or fire jerking…

Objects for men

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In our survey on masturbation techniques we learned men are more resourceful when it comes to find things to have sex with than women. The girl’s favorite (the pillow) seems to be victimized by men as well, but part from that anything seems to go with men. The obvious apple pie and vibrators were confessed about a lot. The male love for bananas was surprising, but the most desirable object for men to have sex with seems to be the shower head! Now you know!