Utah is heading for a new law… to limit sales of Kleenex and Vaseline, in order to reduce masturbation. As if there was no masturbation possible without Kleenex and Vaseline!
“If a young man buys a lot of these items he has fallen pray to the seduction of masturbation”. And since masturbation is believed to a sin in some religions sales of large amounts of these items have to be stopped! That vaseline can be used to heal a dry skin and Kleenex is used heavily during girls’ film nights and common colds is ignored… It’s not a law yet though, but it’s being proposed.
We always wondered that why any God that would see masturbation as a sin would make your arms exactly the length that if you lay down on your back with nothing to do your hands end up in your crotch… wouldn’t it make much more sense to put any genitals on that hard to reach place between your shoulder blades instead of the most convenient place to rest your hands when you’re lying down? Ah well…
Ever wondered why testicles are dangling in a nutsack? It would make much more sense to pack such a delicate thing (or rather: things) on the inside of a body, where it’s protected by muscle tissue and such. But no, the very tender part of a male’s body is positioned outside his body, unprotected from the elements, and in a highly vulnerable place. Why? ’cause it’s colder there!